I’m a United States Air Force Veteran, a Customer Service Expert, and a Divorced Mother of One meaning that I get an up close and personal view of the TSA’s security theater around almost every major Holiday. While I have spoken about my general feelings on the subject, I’ve never had the actual experience of being patted down using the new techniques, nor have I had to face the full body scanner before. I was either lucky or at the right place at the right time, considering how long this experience has been held at bay. That all changed today.
Basic Security
You don’t make it through basic training without an intimate knowledge of being an Entry Control Point [ECP] guard. In fact, the Training Instructors make it their personal goal to not only teach you how to do ECP duty properly, but then test you using each and every scary and sneaky technique they can think of. As such, you come out of the process with an intimate knowledge of intimidation techniques having been subjected to many. And boy could the TSA learn a thing or two.
This of course made my experience at Baltimore Washington International Airport [BWI] just this side of funny. After I said my goodbyes and approached security, I began my usual observation of the security process. While standing in line, two off-duty TSA uniforms came up through the line and ducked under the security ropes carrying their McDonald’s bags. Neither of them got stopped. Neither of them had to show an ID. They just jumped the ropes and went through several closed screening aisles with not a blink from the other guards.
A less pessimistic observer might assume that the guards knew each other by face and perhaps even were ok with such a method of entry. However, even in boot camp we were trained to look at every ID regardless of whether you knew the person or not. You don’t just walk into a Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility (SCIF; pronounced “skiff”) after all. There is a process and a method, and friends or co-workers don’t get a pass. I’ll admit that the woman of the pair wearing a more or less all encompassing head scarf gave me pause as well.
The most basic question there is if you are a Government Employee working security and are wearing obscuring clothing, wouldn’t any ECP guard be MORE likely to double check your ID rather than less?
As I approached the initial check where they look at your ID and ticket, I noticed that there were three TSA guards. Two were standing around and chit-chatting while the third was sitting at his little podium working the line.
“Back in 2005, when this full-body scanner technology was first being proposed, I wrote that I thought this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back, because it would unite conservatives and liberals. Nobody wants their daughter groped or shown naked.” - Read more: Bruce Schneier Interview – Security Theater and the TSA – Popular Mechanics
One of the things that I immediately noticed is that the agent checking passes and ID’s never raised his eyes to look at me. Rule one of checking an ID is to match Image to Face. If you don’t know who it is that you are looking at, then how do you know the ID is valid? And let me just say that in my ID image, I’m blond, 25+ pounds heavier [Thanks, PALEO Diet!], and have a head of very curly hair. The woman who walked to the podium was a dark brunette, 25 pounds lighter, and had straight hair due to an hour of TLC with a blow drier. That doesn’t mean I’m not the same person, but there were enough differences there, that he should have at least asked me to verify my name and or well, any information listed on the license.
He then made random pen marks on my boarding pass and waved me through. Now in past times, I’ve had TSA agents initial boarding passes and while that’s not real security in and of itself, it does show a chain of control. At least from a certain perspective a signature is more security than a random check mark any Tom, Dick, or Harry could have made on any boarding pass much less a home printed pass.
One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mordor
There were two lines for the X-Ray scanners/Full Body Scanners after I got through the TSA checkpoint for boarding passes and ID’s. Initially, I just jumped in the shortest line. I’m a pro traveler having put more time in on a plane than most average people will in a lifetime. If you’ve seen George Clooney’s “Up In The Air” you’ll have an idea of not only how I pack, but how I pick my travel lines. I look for a short line with other Pro Travelers, and this time was no different.
And then I noticed that not all these objects are the same. In fact, Line 1 was going through metal detector machines while Line 2 [the short line I'd initially jumped into] was heading through the Line of Cancer. In fact the risk of the full body scanners [FBS] is becoming such a concern that the EU took the unusual step of actively banning the use of such scanners in their airports just this past November. But I have a more important concern, mainly my 4th Amendment right to Due Process and Unreasonable Search and Seizure. So I jumped from the short line to the end of Line 1.
As I approached the metal table and dropped everything I had into buckets, carefully pulling out the Elf Princess’s Nintendo DS, my Google CR 48, my makeup in its government approved Ziploc baggie, and removed both my jacket and shoes I became aware that the Agent running the line was actually randomly shoving people through the scanner that I’d just attempted to avoid. I felt that initial gut clench you always feel as you try to decide whether an issue is important enough to you to make a stand. Being me, and having an extra hour to play their little game, I decided that my rights as a Citizen were worth the inconvenience I knew I was about to go through.
It may sound like an overburden of conscience or even a self-aggrandizing statement, but the truth is that your life is made up of such moments and as in any morality based scenario your own character is formed by how you decide to jump. Being the borderline Chaotic Good that I am, I knew my answer even as the Blue Agent of “Security” blocked my entrance to the X-Ray machine and waved me towards the FBS. I’d like to think my voice didn’t shake as I smiled and said, “I won’t go through the Scanner.”
Now I’ve heard of what happens when you say the TSA magic words, but I’m not entirely sure I was prepared for the next bit. The agent, a mousey little man with the mandatory pencil mustache [I kid you not], opened a little gate and had me stand on the rubber pad while shouting “Walk Out” or “Lock Out” in a loud voice. I’m not entirely sure what he said to be honest, but that’s what it sounded like as I stood on the thick rubber pad that reminded me of nothing so much as the Cone of Shame.
I assumed the next step was the pat down. What I didn’t realize is the amount of time I’d get on my pad of shame. The TSA agent shouted for “Female assistance” four or five times over a ten or fifteen minute period as I stood. During this time, my bags, ID, and computer had, theoretically, passed through the scanner. But I didn’t actually know. In fact, I couldn’t see my things. This was made all the more ironic by the “See Something, Say Something” videos being played by all the ceiling monitors.
My bags were completely ignored by the TSA agents, and so was I. In fact I took a tentative step off the mat in an attempt to spot my ID which the guard had actually made me put through the scanner. Apparently my Ravens neck lariat with see through plastic pouch that housed my ticket and ID is a security risk. Go Ravens? But the guard didn’t seem to notice, much less care. Part of me wondered if I could just walk off and take the risk that nothing would happen.
But I stayed and began to count the number of female TSA agents that met my eyes, looked away, and obviously ignored the call for a “Female Screening” on aisle 6/7. The truth is that none of the seven or eight females that were aimlessly wandering around and not actively engaged elsewhere had bored expressions and an almost high-school glare on their faces as they pointedly avoided responding.
As a side note, women going through the FBS are supposed to be given a female agent and vice versa men get a male viewer. However, there was only a single man running the scanner. For all intents and purposes, one might assume that that man got more views of naked women in a single day than a strip joint regular.
“Well this IS impressive” flew out of my mouth as I caught another agent’s eyes only to have her look at her shoes and move away. Apparently, as in boot camp, shame and mind games work both ways. That agent finally was the one to ever so slowly put her “two by two, hands of blue” on and motion me down to the end of the conveyor belt where other passengers had begun stacking my possessions to clear room.
Groping In Aisle Six
The lady Agent informed me that I was about to be patted down and gave me the option of a private screening. I considered this, but after having stood for the last 15 or 20 minutes as a silent example of what not to do to the sheep in the lines, I decided they could bear witness to the violations the TSA is actively engaged in.
I think the point was probably lost as they almost to a one kept their eyes on their shoes and just tried to go along to get along. I don’t think there is a much more dispiriting moment to any Veteran than seeing the average citizen afraid of their own Government. You can swear your oath to protect them, but like the horse you cannot make them protect themselves.
The agent had me stand on a rubber pad that was enclosed to waist level on three sides by plexiglass. The pad had yellow foot marks and I was instructed to stand with feet spread and palms up with arms to my sides. Now I’ve done pat downs, and I’ve had training in searching crowds for potential threats. Out of all the people I saw go through the lines as I stood there feet spread and crucified on the government altar of “peace in our time”, the number of potential threats by the TSA’s own standards was rather monumental.
There were the other passengers handling my things. The passenger who picked up my ID, looked at it, and waved it around before tossing it in a random tub. The coats left on benches and window sills that had no obvious owner. The Guards not paying attention but chatting as they haphazardly checked ID’s to faces and so on and so forth.
But my attention came back swiftly as the guardette announced that I was going to be patted across the breast, groin area, and enjoy the intimate experience of her hands down my pants. I knew this could happen, and if my daughter had not been on the other end of the flight the likelihood is high that I would have begun my Gandi-esque protest at that point. It crossed my mind to ask for her warrant, but I decided that I had probably gone as far as I could without running afoul of the new Government law that allows them to arrest US citizens and indefinitely detain them without charge. You know, the NDAA?
She began patting me down doing both sides of my body as she was able. Oddly, she skipped the top of my shoulders and top of my arms. She then used the back of her hands to pat my breasts. I’m a size A/B and am not too proud to admit that I occasionally use silicon inserts to give me a more balanced appearance of chest to hip ration. As a guard, noting a harder lump under each breast that could be anything from C4 to plastique to bra inserts would, theoretically, cause pause or a casual inquiry. But no. In fact, she didn’t even check the top of my chest. For all they know I used medical tape to strap a knife to my chest.
But they don’t know because not only did they not thoroughly do a body check, but they didn’t even put me through the metal detector before calling for a pat down. That’s right. Not only did I get through security without going through the FBS, but I managed to skip the most basic scanner itself. And I wasn’t even carrying a small pet.
I’ll give the agent the kudos of saying that she was professional. I didn’t get a hand job when she went around my groin, and she didn’t reach inside my underwear. Still, having a complete stranger fondle my chest and rub their hands against my genitals and lower stomach area is not an experience anyone should enjoy. I suppose they think of it as ‘two consenting adults’ considering that they get paid to do it and passengers have to let it happen if they want to make their flight.
Once the agent was done, she told me she was going to test her gloves. At that point she went over to the TSA version of the IONScanner, a piece of equipment I am very familiar with having served in the USAF as a Postal Expert. Basically you take a cotton swatch, rub down an object, and run the cotton swab through the machine allowing it to electronically ‘sniff’ for explosives. Funny story. Part of my training included the facts that IONScanners are known to alert on makeup, perfume, etcetera due to their ingredients. Lip stick for example has nitroglycerin in it. Does this false positive keep us safe? Probably no more so than the FBS’s missing things of a chemical nature.
After she tested her hands and came back negative, I was waved through to get my possessions that had, by now, sat by themselves for over twenty minutes.
Security Theater
There were oh so many issues with what happened today, but let me make it very concise by list.
- Agents of CHAOS could bipass the entire process by pretending to be TSA agents and would likely not be caught
- Passengers could probably get through security using IDs that don’t match the carrier
- Passengers could fake TSA check point marks with nothing more than a pen
- To avoid the metal scanners you simply need to request a physical pat down
- The likelihood of having an agent assigned to you as you stand out of line of sight of other agents is low. Running past security at this point has a high likelihood of success.
- You don’t need to keep control of your possessions. All you need to do is be able to get your bags past the XRay machine and then depart with not a word being said.
- If you are a female, the likelihood is high that you can pass explosives off as bra inserts. In fact, you can tape things to your chest with almost no chance of detection.
- ID’s and tickets don’t need stay with their owners if they are in a neck pouch. In fact, you could snatch someone’s ID and ticket as it comes out of the XRay belt and noone would be the wiser.
At any point, and at any time in this list, I could have done something horrific and noone would have caught it. I could have, but I didn’t. Your security at the point of travel is not based in what you are subjected to. In fact, if anything these things make you less safe because such lists are easy to compile to someone with any basic level of security training.
What you go through to travel these days doesn’t keep you safe. It just gives the terrorists a list of what won’t work this time. As long time security expert Bruce Schneier is fond of saying, they don’t try the same thing twice. Why would you when you have so many, many options to choose from?
Image courtesy of Jen Doll
Allison Duncan is an author, blogger, and podcaster that puts out both the 
Excellent article. Thanks for the insights.
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Thanks for reading!
And I’d rather have skipped the insights, but if wishes were horses, etc.
That sucks. And it sucks that so many people thing it is actually helping and that it is patriotic to go through it.
Sigh.
Too many people are willing to let the wool glide gracefully over their eyes, because anything else requires a modicum of effort. Worse still, stopping such tyranny requires them to stand up. Imagine the chaos!
Thanks for reading.
Allison Duncan recently posted..The Last SquirrelFighter
Thanks for sharing your experience, it is important that more people to know the extent of these personal violations.
Now TSA is spreading its abuses to the streets of America. Not only have people forfeited their rights in exchange for being able to fly, now their children may be assaulted by these goons in a train or bus station.
In less than a year there have been sixty two TSA screeners charged with serious crimes including ten for child sex crimes, four for smuggling and one for murder. They allow 60% of cargo to go unchecked and fail 70% of GAO security tests. This agency is the definition of corrupt and incompetent.
This agency is out of control and needs to be replaced with one that respects our fundamental human rights. These creeps deserve every bit of criticism they receive and their conduct must be limited by a third party organization charged with the protecting the interests of citizens, not someone who works for TSA.
TSA is the only agency to have its own propaganda ministry, something previously limited to rogue nations like the Nazis, Soviets and North Korea. When Americans are sitting in a gulag without a trial or lawyer they’ll wonder how it got this far.
bit.ly/TravelUndergroundTSAabuses
I saw the stories about the bus terminal set ups and the most recent effort of DHS to set up checkpoints in a Social Security Office of all places [you know those elderly folks!].
It is scary how much is said and how little people are willing to do. Of course if you couple this with the OWS beat downs and the most recent anti-gun legislation, the slippery slope is a thing of the past. It won’t be long now before what happened in New Orleans [where police went door to door with the gun registration list and stole thousands of guns from law abiding citizens in the name of 'safety' during Katrina] will be the norm.
Anyone who fights back will be labeled ‘terrorist’ or ‘extremist’ and the NDAA law that was signed only a week ago will be used to effectively shut down the opposition. At that point the V For Vendetta scenario becomes reality as the sheeple watch their TVs and sit in fear, doing nothing, and having no option.
And just seeing it coming is now being called ‘conspiracy theorist’. That is the truly scary part.
Thanks for reading.
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Damn, Allie. Cheers to you for subjecting yourself to that. I opted for the body scanner at DCA because I was in a hurry to get to LT’s arrival gate.
While I opted the expeditious route, and after this I’m glad I did – he didn’t have to wait on me (as an unaccompanied minor). But I did initially question the process. I first rejected it because I am already at an increased risk for cancer. They calmly and emphatically told me those machines were gone. Riiiiiiight… I didn’t challenge it because I did not research the issue prior to arriving at the airport and was in a hurry. Shame on me.
When I asked who would be viewing my naked image, they said they don’t use those anymore and proceeded to show me the paperdoll type figure they have on the public display.
I am not naive, and do not believe that thy do not have the higher quality image viewable somewhere and that they have likely just done a “dumb American” view to pacify travelers.
Hopefully, I will next time have the time to refuse the machine. And it sure would help if the half dozen or so guards I saw standing around chatting to each other would have opened more lanes to move passengers through faster.
Thanks for sharing such a personal story.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. As things get worse, it will become much harder to travel considering the latest activities the DHS has decided to use. Hopefully your travel will not be affected too much.
The hardest part of all of this is the determination that my child will not be subjected to this. It is why I decided a year ago that if I was forced to face this, I would have to say ‘no’.
Thanks for reading.
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[...] good longish articles on technology. I read her in-depth, personal article on dealing with the latest body scanners at airport security. A good [...]
It’s a horrible truth. Incompetence can be found in every Government agencies. The sad part is that, the Government itself doesn’t know how to discipline them. You did pretty well stretching your patience Allison. I hope that won’t happen to you again.
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